Philo, not to be confused with Filo Dough

Philo is a little bit country, which was a nice change of scenery from New York. Not that I didn't like New York in its city-ness, but contrast is always beneficial. It makes me think, anyway.

Here's what I thought: I love Illinois. Now considering I've loved just about every place I've been, I realize I'm not making a head-turning announcement. "No, you mean she loves another place," you say. I sense your sarcastic whispers. No whispering on my parade, please. I've decided I'm just a very open individual, hence my love for all places. The good thing though is that I love these places in different ways, for different reasons. And I think that's what needs to be judged, especially if I'm going to be re-locating to any of these places, which is very much an option at this point.

I loved New York for it's limitless-ness. There was always something to do, somewhere to be taken to. But for the same reason I love things, I also dislike them. If I ever just wanted to stay in and read, I almost felt guilty, like, "Geez, I should be out doing something cultural."

However, I'm discovering that same thing can happen even in the country. I thought things would slow down in Philo, but boy, was I wrong, wrong, wrong. Philo was limitless in its landscape. The corn and soybean fields and the sky went on forever. There were so many little towns and parks and nature to see. We droved, strolled and hiked (although when a trail in Illinois said rugged, it means long, not rugged). We pet the horses. Saw a snake. Tried not to disturb a beehive being buzzed around by billions of bees. Squirrels like I've never seen. Rabbits. Mourning doves. Red-winged black birds. Fireflies. Full and low, lava-glowing moons. It was enough to make me cry, more than once.

And I should have never ate that chili-cheese dog on Coney Island. Since then, I've eaten steak and cornbeef and turkey. I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat little enough meat to make me feel guilty if I don't confess my recent trend in meat consumption. There, I'm purged. I blame it to not wanting to be rude when meat is one of the only things offered, and not wanting to explain, "Well, no, I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't eat a lot of meat. Why? Well, because, there's the health and environmental issues..." What an un-fun explanation, especially to someone of the older generation (crusty old bastards, as Melissa calls them). But I'm really lying here, if I don't admit that I love every cooked ounce of it. I forgot how good and filling it is, which means I'm probably going to continue being sinful. Hopefully, I'll start sinning in better moderation. I'll keep you updated.

Enough about me. Back to Philo. I stayed with Danielle and her grandfather. We got her grandfather drunk the night I arrived, so he says and sung all evening, "I had me a little drink about an hour ago." Although, he only had one glass of wine, so I think he was pulling our leg about the "drunk" part. He took us to a rodeo the last night we were there, in which there were many contestants from Arkansas, even two from Perryville (a Josh and a Jeff, I think). Enough to almost make me homesick. Especially those fireflies. Although, I prefer to say lightning bugs. What do you call 'em?

Acknowledgements Page

Well, I realize I didn't exactly explain/describe the people I was hanging out with in New York and other places. Therefore, I've decided to start an acknowledgements page, which I'll edit along the way. Now, I know blogs are ordinarily journal-like, but I don't see any problems with it being multi-faceted. If people happen to see someone's profile as interesting and ask me for their contact info and then hit it off, who am I to say blogs shouldn't also be used as dating services. And it's absolutely FREE. If I haven't met you along the way on this road trip, but you'd like your profile included, be sure to let me know. I don't discriminate and can ignore your worser traits and write a glowing recommendation.

NASHVILLE

Natalie and Greg: A wonderful couple who allowed me to use their futon for a fun-filled night in the music capital. Now, granted, they are a couple, and I'm not a big fan of homewrecking (not that I haven't ever done it, which is how I learned I"m not a big fan of it), I suggest this couple be contacted only in cases of emergency (Greg is just entering Medical School, so he could probably re-set your bones or give you advice about birth control or something) or in cases of other couples looking for new couples to hang out with. Natalie is good at many things, but she's especially good at counseling and making strawberry cakes and being jokey. They love cats.

P.S. They have recently re-located to Chapel Hill

CHAPEL HILL

Josh: Can this boy sing! Well, if he can't sing, he can definitely turn saws and other hand tools into musical instruments. Besides his musical skills and talents, he really knows his way around the kitchen. One of the more wittier people that I know. Great hair. Owns a gigantic van. And can get you a discount at Whole Foods (and that place is expensive.)

WASHINGTON DC

Tron: How should I explain Jon? I feel like Jon is a reflective soul as he is trying out different paths in the world. He definitely has an urge to help people, although from the sounds of his blog, he might be focusing more on his self lately than on other people (he has his reasons, I'm sure). Consistency and follow-through are two strong points. Smart; A dynamic conversationalist.

NEW YORK CITY

Emily: A childhood pal, so you know she's loyal. We met in art class, so you know she's creative. A graduate of Sarah Lawrence College. Can liven up any dull room. Good with children and men. And great taste in books.

The following three people share an apartment with Emily.

Joey: Willing to spend money on a good meal. A thinker and sometimes poet. Adventurous, if the risks aren't too high. Recently joined the Garbriel Garcia Marquez fan club. Is trying his hands at interning, which he thinks might be against his better judgment.

Sarah: Has a boyfriend, but would make a good friend. She has a knack for working with the elderly. Owns a great selection of earrings. And if I said Josh knows his way around a kitchen, I take that back, because Sarah really knows her way around the kitchen. I'm talking some elegant meals. I didn't know people our age knew how to cook like that. Even-tempered.

David: Not even-tempered, but goes by Violet Temper, at least when he's dressed up in drag. A great set of legs and sense of humor. Introduced me to Party Monster and watched a documentary about the Omish with me (Good movie taste). Knows how to sew.

Melissa: Recent convert to New York, and she's making the most of it with two jobs on her belt. Work-ethic--she's got it. She's in a runner's club, so you should be in shape if you want to keep up with her. Likes: zoos, bars, and cheese.

PHILO, ILLINOIS

Danielle: This girl doesn't know how to have a bad time. Has strong family values. Entering med school in Little Rock come fall, so she'll probably be too busy to date you. Loves animals. And did I mention: Gorgeous (inside and out). I think I heard she danced on a table, once, or twice...

ST. PAUL, MINNESOTA

Keely and Carsten: I've known Keely since the womb. We're not twins, but my mom used to own a maternity store that her mom shopped at. Both of our moms were pregnant with us at this time, and we lived down the street from each other until we were 18, when she decided to move away to Germany to live with a guy she met on a plane. That guy is Carsten, and they're now living happily ever after. That sort of thing never happens to me, but it's a good story, yeah? Well, I guess Keely and Carsten are off limits, unless you're just looking for two quirky friends who know lots of odd facts about anything and everything. At least Carsten does. Also, animal lovers.

Consumption

Well, my last day in New York proved to be a full one, literally.

1) Breakfast: Moosetracks Ice Cream
2) Lunch: Coney Island Chili and Cheese Dog with Cheese Fries + Beer
3) Snacks: 2 Giant Daquries in a Bong Looking Device + 2 Magnolia Cupcakes
4) Sort of Dinner: Sweet Potato Fries + Guacamole and Chips

Not one healthy thing. Okay, the Guacamole is debatable.

I think even my nose has gained weight. It's great not to take one's self and diet so seriously, at least while one's on vacation, and it's important to celebrate the beginning and/or ends of things. And I guess this is the end of New York for me, for now. I'm so sappy and sad about it, I might have to comfort myself with some more Ice Cream after this entry.

However, ixnay on the maynay, which is code for, I'm no longer going to Maine or Boston for that matter. I realize visiting both of these places would obviously make me a cooler person, but if I invest in these places it screws up timing with visiting people and places of the Illinois/Minnesota/Wisconsin area. I'm feeling a tiny bit miserable about not being able to do it all, but I guess I can't have my cake and eat it too (talking metaphorically now, and I think I've screwed the saying up, but you know what I mean.) But this doesn't negate the approaching excitement of visiting Danielle in Champaine, Illinois, which I think is going to be a little bit more country and a little bit less city.

The change of pace will be nice. At least, my legs think so. They really are too short (long torso) for the hustle and bustle of New York. Ignore my whining, unless you want to criticize it in a post. All posts are welcome, even negative ones, just anything. I'm beginning to think not enough people are reading the blog and that I'll have to resort to the old school mass email. The choice is yours.

I'm going to go throw up now.

Just kidding. You think I want to be like that gorilla at the zoo (If you don't know what this is referring too, you need to revert to reading previous posts)? Not my style. I'm much more sophisticated than that.

Never Give Up

I drove my car all the way back to the mechanic at the Bronx in traffic with heavy delays due to construction (all and all it took me 2 hours to drive 20 miles and shot my whole day) only to have him tell me that my car is allergic to New York. More or less, he told me my car is old and it doesn't do so hot in hot weather, so to lay off the air conditioner and head somewhere less congested. I could have told myself that. On the bright side, I saw some crazy ass road rage in the bumper to bumper New York style traffic. This middle-ager hops out of his car, proceeds to walk to the van behind him, open up the driver's side door before screaming "Fuck You" before closing the door and returning to his car. It was wild. I'm just glad he didn't have a gun, and I'm really glad it wasn't my car door he was opening. But then and again, I'm a bad ass at driving in big city traffic (gasp! who would've thought), so he would have no reason to assault me. I really don't mean to have my blogs so automobile centric. I promise I'm doing plenty of other things besides breaking, fixing and cursing my car. I'm racking up all kinds of conversation starters: There's always the statue of liberty, museums, plays, bars, restaurants to talk about. But I am on a road trip. Therefore, my car is often at the core of subject material, as it does get me or prevent me from getting to where I need to be going.

I'm going to be heading to Maine on Tuesday, which I'm quite thrilled about. Actually, I'm going to take a Chinatown Bus to Boston to meet Catherine, a friend and ex-Oxford American-colleague and then we're going to catch another bus up to Maine (just in case you need the gory details). I'm hoping to give a shout out to Jared while in Boston. Any of you Heifers have requests for me to send to him in this shout out? Let me know. There's probably not going to be as many people in Maine, which will be a change of scenery for sure. There's just tons and tons of people here in New York. Tons. Everywhere. Always accidentally bumping someone's shoulder. I think the crowdedness of New York is its best and worst attribute. Something for everyone and no one.

Speaking of somethings, I attended a drag show last night, which starred one of the roommates I've been staying with: a Miss Violet Temper (stage name), who performed a number from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. It was hot and sexy and overall a very cheap and safe evening, as far as being absolutely sure no guys, no matter how beautiful or ugly, but mostly beautiful were in the least bit interested in me--once again, a best and worst. Not that I've been having all that much trouble with beautiful boys hitting on me in straight bars. Come on, fellas: I'm exotic. I'm from Arkansas. Although, I did get a little accidental play. In the subway on the way home, the train took off a little more suddenly than usual, which sent me tripping almost to the ground. Impulse reached my hand out to lighten the fall, but instead a snoozing man's crotch caught my hand and my fall. Boy, did he jump. Boy, did I apologize: "I am so sorry." I guess it wasn't that good for him. He just nodded and went back to sleep. Some things never change, but that's no reason to give up.

Good and Bad Day

Sheesh--talk about a long day. I've been reuniting with a Miss Melissa Rudder from the ranch over the past few days. We've had a good time talking it up and hanging it out. We went on a mission to find her a local bar. I think we succeeded. One of the bars in her neighborhood serves you a pizza (free!) with a beer (even if you order a cheap one)--and the pizza is whole and big and tasty. It was very exciting to my budget. Anyway, on to the good day, bad day part.

In the midst of our girly bar hopping, I managed to hurt my foot somehow. I didn't break it, but it's just uncomfortable to walk on, which I did a lot of today. Melissa and I went to the Bronx Zoo, which was fascinating and beautiful and almost made you feel like you weren't in a city. One of the Gorillas even threw up in his hand and then ate the throw up, only to throw it up and eat it again. It was awesome! So, the zoo begins the good part of the day. The bad part of the day began when Melissa had to go back to work to wait on Kevin Bacon or some other shabby celebrity, and I was left to wonder the streets of the Bronx alone.

Now, I had a very good reason for staying in the Bronx alone. My car needed picking up and seeing as how I got it towed to the Bronx after the first car place I took it to was going to charge me a couple grand, I thought, how perfect: We'll go to the zoo, and I'll retrieve my car, all in one day. Little did I know how amazingly fucking lost I'd get in the grungiest parts of the Bronx. Granted, everyone was really nice and offered to give me help. Too bad all of those people had horrible senses of directions as well, leaving me even more lost and stranded.

Finally, I got my act together and called the mechanic for help. He got me closer to the burning rubbery scent of my engine, but once again, the whole getting lost thing came up again, so he just had one of his guys pick me up on a corner. It was not awesome in the least. Okay, so the guy who picked me up was really nice and they barely charged me anything at all (well, in comparison to the original couple grand estimate), so it wasn't a total lost. So by the time I get back to Brooklyn, four lost hours had passed (of course I got lost driving on the way back--but not too bad). I've really got to start using a map. But here's the kicker, when I get within a block of Emily's (where I'm mostly staying) my car starts--??? You guessed it: Overheating. Hot damn. What a day!

Still Alive

Well, I guess I shouldn't post so consistently, because then when I don't post, I get all these worried emails asking if I'm okay. That's sweet. Thanks. Really, I just haven't been able to get to a computer until now.

Anyway, does anyone know a good mechanic in Brooklyn? My car started overheating right when I got into town. Perfect timing. Especially considering the approaching dark and being stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Not to mention The bumper to bumper traffic was in between the toll booth and the holland tunnel. So I was thinking, "Great, I'm going to breakdown in the fucking tunnel and piss everyone off and be basically hated by all New Yorkers." Luckily, I took the opportunity to pull over next to some police officers even if it did involve darting through traffic, which initiated some honking.

The police officers greeted me by asking if I was the one who robbed the bank. Hmmm. No, but I did tell them my car was overheating. They didn't know much about cars, but they let me cool off and obtained immediate assistant for me from the roadside service people. It was great. A little cooling off and a little duck tape later, I was on my way. Parking is a bitch in Brooklyn but manageable enough. Other than that, everything in Brooklyn is as charming as can be. A real neighborhood feel. Anything in walking distance that you need. That sort of thing. And the weather has improved. Actually, it's rather stifling, but at least it feels like summer.

I don't have a whole lot on my agenda for New York. Yesterday, I just did a whole lot of wandering around the city. I admit I'm not the best wanderer, because I don't enjoy shopping, so I don't really go into any stores. I can't afford fancy meals. Luckily, bagels and coffee cost about a dollar everywhere, so I stick to the small shops and delis and grocery stores. I found that the NY Public Library and Central Park were the best places to lounge and take a break. Give me a park and I can stay happy all day. I also saw the one act plays my friend Emily manages. Rosy Perez appeared in one of them, which was kind of exciting. We're also planning on going to the modern art museum, coney island, and the beach. So it's a fun time here. Emily's apartment is really great. It has kind of this old, royal air about it. Maybe it's the chandelier. Or high ceilings. A great place to sleep. Her roommates prove great as well--not as old and royal, but young and trendy.

Well, I guess I better get back to exploring. And I guess I should get that car taken care of if I plan on going anywhere else.

P.S. Oh yeah, I forgot all about DC. I hung out with Jon the Tron for a bit. I saw parts of DC with Tron that I hadn't seen the previous year with Moyer. And I was a badass driving through DC; Well, at least until I got lost.

Who'll stop the rain?

It's been raining and raining, thoroughly and continuously. I would count it as another bad omen, if I didn't like the rain. Besides, if Chapel Hill is this pretty in the rain, then it can only get better.

I guess my one word to describe Chapel Hill: Cute. Cute people. Cute houses. Cute yards. Cute eateries and drinkeries. Okay, well if I could use one more word: Hip. It kind of gives me the feeling of how I felt at the OA, in that I will never know as much as it seems that other people know about music, books, etc. However, this is a good feeling, even if it puts me to shame at moments, cause then I can use my powers of listening and observation to steal their hipness and share it future situations with less hip people. I don't know if I'll get in one of those situations on this trip, but just in case, I'm tucking it all up my sleeve.

Highlights of The Hill (in no particular order):

1) Josh. He seems to be King of the Hill here. He says hi to a lot of people. They don't all say hi back, but that's usually because they just don't recognize him at first. He just got a trim, which really means, it's all chopped off. He's thinking about dreads for a future look. I think this would be a bad idea. What do yall of yall who know Josh think?

2) Josh's friends. They're all so friendly and welcoming (and hip!) , even if a few of them are into porn ;) I think Josh will be a good influence on those two. And if those two are by any chance in the world reading this, my tone: jokey, lighthearted and nonjudgmental.

3) Forgetting my wallet when we went out for Pizza and beer. Oops. The atm card strikes again.

4) Josh's basement. Very cute, although I think he's open to decoration ideas? I suggested beer posters and big-breasted models. He's afraid people wouldn't know he was joking. If people didn't get that, then I would say Josh needs to work on his personality a little more.

5) A lingy ding. Wingy ling? Dingy lingy? Whatever the hell it was called, it was my first time to drink it. It was quenching during the discussion of world's worst songs. Josh's pick: Hotel California. My Pick: Too legit to quit. Yours?

6) I found Meredith's birthday present, which I think she will find spectacular. I think many of you would, but I can't give it away until after June 12th. Remind me.

7) Not getting a ticket to Spoon, but what do I know about music anyway, and by not going, highlight number 8 came about.

8) Eggplant Parmesan. Josh and I got a little creative in the kitchen, and now we have a new culinary skill. If any of you ladies have plans to make it to Chapel Hilll, you'll have to make plans to have Josh cook this treat for you.

9) XYZ radio. (Am I getting the name right?)

10) Getting introduced to Collective Animal and Magnetic Field's 69 Love Songs. Once again, I might be a little off on the names. I'm sure someone can correct me (perhaps one of you who is a personality 1 on the ennigram(sp?)).

I'm forgetting all the highlights, but you get the point. I've had a really superb time here catching up with Josh on the friend tour (as he calls it). I could definitely see Ashley here. Natalie and Greg are moving here next month, which could (in combination with Josh being here) persuade Ashley to check it out. And then if you were all living here, I might be persuaded to come back for a visit. Of course, we'd all have to learn to play an instrument first, unless we don't care about fitting in. Okay, well I better go prepare myself to see John. Next post will be coming from D.C.

P.S. I had the big idea to have Josh be my ghost/guest blogger for this entry, but I didn't get it together in time. I'm sure it would have been clever, or at least sarcastic.

P.S.S. And I got the pleasure of driving through the Smokey's. Gorgeous even if the tops were covered in fog. The 18 wheelers on the other hand--not so pleasant.

This one's for you babe.

My wonderful, intelligent and beautiful but apparently "shy" friend, Nicole, wrote me an email saying she's been reading the blog, but is nervous about making a post for the whole world to see. Let's all post and encourage her to speak up.

P.S. Thanks for the email, Nicole. I'll get back to Dr. Lee about the caladiums. Do you think Ansel (or another Conwayian) might be interested in helping him out, since I won't be around?

P.S.S. So when you saw B.B., did he sing that "I want to marry you song." I don't know that I'm really the marrying type, but I love that song. It always begs me to reconsider. Maybe you should just tell me he didn't, even if he did, unless you want to incite severe jealousy, which of course I'd forgive you for.

P.S.S.S. More from rainy Chapel Hill later.

Honky Tonk

Well, if I could sing...

I would sing a song about a minor catastrophe involving an atm card. Little did I know that when I stopped through Conway to jumpstart my trip with megan and a cup of coffee, I very accidentally left my atm card in the damn machine.

Of course, I don't realize I've done this until I'm nearing Memphis. Now, if you're thinking no big deal, you're wrong. My atm card is everything to me. No cash, no checks, no credit cards. Okay, so I had enough cash to fill up my tank to get back to Lonoke (right outside Little Rock) where the nearest Arvest was located. My mom was hard at work getting things all figured out for me--cancelling my account for fear of fraud and all that jazz.

I really forget how absentminded I can be, which makes me doubt my competence as far as this trip is concerned. I mean: Should I really be driving all this way? No telling what other dumb acts I'm capable of committing. Hopefully, I've learned my lesson. Better to have happened in the beginning. And Lonoke wasn't so bad. I met a nice police officer and a charming boy at the local gas station. Too bad it doesn't take longer to fill up with gas.

I'm trying really hard not to let the slip up be percieved as a bad omen, just like I ignored other possible bad omens: the expensive repair on my car before leaving, a loose side view mirror, my bumper which got mysteriously hit the night before I left on my trip. These are ambiguous, right? Not bad at all... I did see one of those Oscar Myer Weiner Mobiles on the Interstate. I'm not sure what kind of omen that was. I guess there's nothing left to do but wonder when a big weiner passes you by.

Oh yeah, I also have a popazon (sp?) turned upside down and tied to the top of my car, so as people have been telling me, my car looks like a giant turtle.

I have made it to Nashville and spent a beautiful evening with Natalie, friends, and cats. Nashville strikes me as quaint. Very enjoyable. Lots of honky tonk (I've been instructed to use this word as much as possible in my description of Nashville). No complaints. And for all of those who know Natalie, she's doing great and is still a bottle of fun. So are her cats. Frisky, indeed.

And remember, you can respond to these posts. I'll even let you rate them if you want.